Tuesday, 2 April 2013

New RSS dress code sends nation for a tailspin

Keeping in mind the startling discovery by Mr. Mohan Bhagwat that western culture is responsible for increase in crimes against women; RSS today issued a new dress code for its members. RSS has finally decided to do away with western inspired white shirts and khaki shorts and will be switching over to a more 'Indian' attire of Dhoti and Kurta.
Speaking to our fashion correspondent, the head of sangh parivar’s fashion department Mr.Tod Fod Kumar said,” For long sanghis have been a subject of harassment from various sections of society primarily due to their revealing shorts. So when aadarniya Bhagwat ji brought this truth out, we went into a brainstorming session to come up with something to set our own house in order before we can impose it on the nation.”

While many in sangh have welcomed the decision, quite a lot of its young blood has expressed disappointment. Talking to us Mr. Nafrat Bodi, a young handsome sanghi lamented, “Man! I specially joined sangh so I can proudly show of my well-toned calves in public to the girls. Now which girl will take interest in me, if I walk around in a dhoti?”

The move has also sent shockwaves through the political circuit as many secular leaders had to change their wardrobe overnight so as to avoid any association with sangh. Meanwhile, speaking to press Shri Mulayam Singh Yadav congratulated sangh for promoting his signature outfit. When reminded that he is actually praising RSS, he did a prompt U-Turn and thundered that no dhoti-kurta clad person will be allowed to set foot in Uttar Pradesh. On being reminded that he too is wearing dhoti-kurta, Mulayam Singh did another volte-face and left the press conference fuming.

Meanwhile there is a mass outrage amongst congress paid tweeters as the move seemed to have affected their job. “RSS in dhoti… my #chaddhiwala jokes will go waste. Blow to my livelihood. #Rahul4PM” tweeted a Mr. @psurya.

Meanwhile RSS received a BIG support in form of Mr. Gadkari as he explained how troublesome it was for him to get shorts of his waist size at any store.
Last heard, UPA chairperson Mrs. Sonia Gandhi has convened a high level meeting to discuss the issue at her residence. Arriving at the meeting, Digvijay Singh suggested to media that they are looking at the possibility of declaring dhoti-kurta as a communal dress.

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